With Mt. St. Helens burping, farting and otherwise getting frisky, the time has come to seriously consider which virgin we should sacrifice to the volcano in order to appease the fire god who lives within.
These days, it's awfully hard to come up with anyone who (i) really is a virgin and (ii) deserves to be sacrificed to the god.
So, we might have to be somewhat metaphorical with regard to virginity requirement. That certain someone has to at least project an attitude of purity. So, with that less rigorous standard in mind, my first choice is Rick Santorum. My second choice would be Arnold Schwartzenegger. My third choice would be the entire state of Utah. "This way to the caldera, ladies and gentlemen!"
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