Man's Search for Meaning

"We had nothing: except our ridiculous naked lives." -Viktor E. Frankl

Thank you Mr. Johnson for introducing me to Man's Search for Meaning in high school.  Over the nearly three decades since the first time I read this incredible book, I have returned to it from time to time, and it has always yielded fresh insight into human life and to the meaning of suffering.  As Woody Allen has pointed out elsewhere "to love is to suffer."*  But in our relatively affluent, civilized society, most suffering is experienced voluntarily.  There are those moments in life when one must truly suffer, and it cannot be avoided if one is to remain psychologically fit.  One of those moments is the death of someone close: a parent, a child, a lover, a very dear friend.  One must enter into these feelings boldly; feel them, and express them.  One must suffer extravagantly as one grieves.  But when we feel the same way about forgetting to set the VCR, or the fact that we haven't become rich nor famous, such suffering is unnecessary and elective.

* "To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."

-Woody Allen, Love and Death

I Might Sell

I may sell my Condo in Seattle and try to buy a house.   For the most part, I just want more space.  I also want more freedom.  And most of all, I don't want a homeowners association telling me what to do--even when I vote for their proposals I hate it because I'm not completely in control of the situation.  There are also other advantages to having a house.  The possibility of having a pet goes up, since I would presumably have a yard for the pet to roam in.  I might get lucky enough to have a basement--which would permit storage, exercise equipment.  And I want a cross-breeze.  My apartment has a western exposure and in the summer time it gets very warm. With no ventilation on the other side of the house things get stuffy very quickly. 

So, I'm taking action.  My realtor is coming in on presidents' day to do a walk through and look over the numbers with me.  If it looks like I can get out from under by at least breaking even, then I'm going to put the unit on the market. 

They

Who made up all the rules
We follow them like fools
Believe them to be true
Don't care to think them through

Jem's Song "They" is a smoky mix of ballad and dance, with a theme about life on the outskirts of one's zone of control.  It has a nice, slow tempo but a strong beat.  The best thing about the song is its oddity, the Neapolitan mandolins that accompany the chorus, the strange children's babble that punctuates the bridge between the verses that sounds like equal parts playground chant and X-Files.  With a chorus that repeats several times "I'm sorry, so sorry, I'm sorry, we do this..." this is a song about regrets and guilt.  But it is not about despair or defeat, for an apology is a way to save a relationship and is an expression of hope. 

All Politics are Local

I'm pragmatic, but I'm not a pessimist, therefore I feel the need to append the post I made earlier today.  I believe that local politics have a far greater impact on my life than national politics, that whether or not the Monorail gets built has far more importance than anything George W. Bush does or says, 99% of which is contemptible.  I'm far more in danger from my fellow Americans than I am an Arab terrorist.  Statistically, I mean.  If I'm to be murdered, odds are astronomically against it being by a foreign or domestic terrorist.  Much more likely that such an event would transpire, like poor Nicole DuFresne's death, from a tawdry, mundane, absurd act of violence on a street corner.

Which is to say, don't succumb to despair over the direction of the country.  Live your life.  Be well.  Prosper.  And when the time comes to vote in local elections, do so. 

The Great Divide

The country is showing no signs of healing.  Liberals are still incensed at the very idea of a George W. Bush second term and neo-conservatives are still calling democrats who fail to rubber-stamp his policies treasonous.  The political atmosphere is like the brown cloud over Denver or Los Angeles: poisonous.  And it will not detoxify soon.  There's going to be hell to pay in the senate which still contains some democrats with backbone and republicans of conscience who will oppose the crash and burn this administration is trying to engineer either through intent or incompetence.

I hope that the next election will favor either a pragmatic (Clintonian) democrat or a more mainstream republican.  In fact, I predict that our next president will be John McCain.  Perhaps the country will swing back towards the middle.  However, we may be headed for teeter-totter back and forth wild swings from the far right to center for the forseeable future.  Farewell New Deal.  Farewell.

So it behooves us to resist.  One thing is crystal clear: we cannot depend upon the Supreme Court to protect minority rights any more.  The days of Lawrence v. Texas are over.  It was an anomoly anyway, and Virginia is ignoring the decision.  They have refused to repeal their sodomy laws.  So it's just a matter of time.  Eventually the issue will return to the Supreme Court and they will reverse themselves. 

Meanwhile, fair weather liberals who have the economic means to do so are moving north of the border.  Do they really believe that they need to flee the country?  We live in interesting times.

Log Cabin Republicans Redux

Ever listen to Air America?  Although it's a relief from the constant verbal sewage that is right wing radio, ideas on the extreme left are just as grating and prickly.  Yesterday, when my favorite radio station, C-89.5 FM, which almost always plays dance hits, was playing gospel (which it typically does on Sundays) I tuned in to Air America to hear Janeane Garofalo and company lambaste the Log Cabin Republicans, calling them "self-loathing" Uncle Toms and likening them to Jews in the Third Reich who tried to change the direction of the Nazi party's political aims. 

I must be much more centrist than these people because I really found the sentiments offensive.  Most importantly the Log Cabin Republicans are out of the closet.  I am categorically against any out person being intentionally shamed by anyone else, regardless of where they fall in the political spectrum.  Yet this was what Garofalo and company were doing: intentionally shaming gay people.  Personally, I believe that gay people have the right to be Republicans (although I myself am not).  The Republicans don't mind gay members just so long as they are invisible and mute.  Yet the Log Cabin Republicans remain a constant and vigilant voice, advocating full inclusion and acceptance in the middle of the party that wants nothing more than to deny gay people any and all legal rights and recognition.  I say, bravo to them.  I respect their courage and their willingness to stand up for principle.

But then, I place gay issues ahead of other political concerns.  I used to believe exactly the same way that Garofalo does, but then I grew up.  I became more mature and pragmatic.  I did not abandon my principles, I honed them with rational thought.  What is far more important to me is the rocky state of Social Security under the onus of George W. Bush.  We are told that the system is in danger of bankruptcy.  I don't believe that.  The numbers don't play.  It's said that there are fewer workers paying into the system now than in the past, and that those numbers will continue to shrink.  Yet, the population of the United States DOUBLES every 35 years.  So somewhere in there is a massive disconnect.  Yes, Social Security is expensive, but I've paid into the program all of my working life.  I'm going to be 47 in another few weeks and I am depending upon Social Security aspart of my retirement (although I don't plan on retiring completely, ever).  I think there are a lot of retirees who continue to work and continue to pay into the system.  So there's this fake intergenerational conflict that's touted by opponents on either side of the issue.  I think that's all tommyrot too.  I don't know what the answer to Social Security is, but I don't think we're being told even the basic facts of the matter.

Activist Judgery

A judicial activist has now ruled New York's prohibition on gay marriage unconstitutional.  This is old news in Washington state, where two separate superior court judges have determined exactly the same thing.  That it's New York in this case is much more significant due to its higher population and its 35 electoral college votes.  I love how neo-conservatives paint judges doing their jobs as "activist" when they come out with a ruling with which they disagree.  These are the same "activist" judges who gave George W. Bush the presidency in 2000 when there was a perfectly good remedy already in place in the Constitution.  However, let bygones be bygones.  What worries me about the New York case and the Washington cases is that they play into the hands of the radical right wing.  I fear the backlash--a little of which we experienced in the 2004 election wherein 11 states banned gay marriage at the state constitutional level.  Such legislation is discriminatory and mean spirited.  The proponents of those actions have said, in effect, "we hate you and we hate what you do, and although we can't put you in jail for it as we'd like, we're going to make sure that your relationships are never, ever given the respect they deserve.  So there."

It's infantile. 

But there's going to be more of it before it's over.

In a totally different story, a California student died of water intoxication after drinking from a 5 gallon jug during a fraternity hazing.  They need to put every single one of those students in jail (not forever, but long enough to teach them a good lesson), and they need to disenfranchise the frat from every state school campus in California.